With very little time and a mind that is as confused as the body following it, i continue to live my life in hope that some glimpse of sunlight will fall into my sight. As 5 weeks soon became 20, because for some reason 20 weeks seems shorter than 5 months. It doesn't seem possible to know that it's been nearly 6 months since a time that seemed like yesterday. If you can't tell already i am very much stuck in my past, because that is a time where i would much rather be. A time that consisted of friendships that were as simple as the things that entertained them. For now it's the idea of what's next and how do we keep ourselves from facing the fact that our best friend forced his own fate, that I know put him in the most content place he could be and maybe gave him a view that allows him to love us even more so than he could when his presence was with us. I really have no true answer to that though. Which is quite possibly the thing that makes me the craziest, the unknown whereabouts of someone who i long to spend just one more moment with.
When my schedule consists of working, sleeping, school twice a week, and the few hours i'm able to possibly spend with my friends. I have little time with my thoughts, meaning that when i can think, all i want is to focus on him. When from another persons perspective i'm obviously going through the right motions in life, working towards a degree, saving up to eventually move out on my own with my age soon nearing 18, and maybe a normal social life. well from my point of view i'm stuck in a time where my memories are my realities, because like i said in my last blog, you know someone meant something when your memories become more important than your dreams. still, nearing half a year i fall deeper and deeper into a hole hoping to remember all the things i possibly can from a life that will not be able to ever occur again until possibly another life time.