Friday, June 17, 2011

Adjusting to feeling

For a few weeks  now I was told that a family very dear to me would possibly be moving back to their home town. Hoping that this was all talk and just options for them, it turned into a reality for all of us. Saturday, June 11, 2011. I received the text from Marcey explaining to me that they would be moving on June 25th. I can honestly say my feeling of numbness overwhelmed my body. Over the past year I let myself be distant from them, because it's easy for me to push away the people that care about me the most. But i've always needed her. Now, seeing that they will be moving in 8 days, i wish i could make up for lost time.

It's also very hard for me to accept the fact that as time goes on, time will get in between more and more. The visits to see my boys will end up growing fewer. It's hard for me to know that i won't be able to watch them grow. Along with their baby sister lilly, who will be born in october. Hearing that marcey was pregnant for the 3rd time brought so much happiness to me. I was so excited to know that i would be given the chance to watch another one of their kids grow up. Being their for all of Taylor's milestones and most of Noah's was the biggest blessing in my life.

On monday, June 13th, after i got off work, i drove to Raytown to visit them. I sat with marcey drinking coffee and gave her outfits for lilly until the boys woke up. I spent the next few hours watching the boys run around the house, hearing their feet pitter patter on the floor and listening to the sound of them saying my name whenever they needed me. I watched in awe of the 2 boys that i had seen grow for the past 3 years. My heart melted when i had to say goodbye to all of them. i'm hoping to see them one last time before they leave.

It still hurts to know that they will be over 2 hours away, when at one point they lived 2 minutes away. Among all of this sadness I'm still so excited for them. They have been wanting the chance to live back home for some time now with their families. It will be an amazing new start for them.

I'm so excited for you Marcey, I know it may be hard for you to believe, but you still mean the world to me. I love you so much. I owe you for every single thing you have done for me. I promise to visit, but at some point i know those visits will grow fewer with more time in between and one day we will both be living separate lives. But you will always be on my mind and in my heart.