"The Quiet Things That no one ever Knows"

No matter what I seem to do or say, I can't change the fact that i'm unhappy with things in my life. Aren't we all in this same position though? Time is such a critical thing, and I get that it's important to just live life and be accepting of new things. Though, there is so much more to this life. I want to be able to graduate high school and move toward the career, that at this point i can only dream of. I let fear be a driving force in my life. I fear that in the end everyone will leave me and I will be forced to continue on by myself. Of course I have the capability and strength to do so, but I want to share my life with people. I'm the type of person to take the time to enjoy the littlest things. Although, I choose to not expect those moments. Of course there are things that I know I deserve and want to have but I don't expect life to hand them to me or even let me have any piece of them. I'm not one to go out and get whatever I want till I have it, because I just don't even know how to do so. I can be stubborn and completely convince myself that i'm deserving of something, but somehow that stubbornness doesn't allow me to move forward to getting it. If I knew how to force myself to put myself out there to be successful in achieving the things i want, i would be so much more content with my state of mind.